Murphy's Laws (finded somewhere in the Net)

^{(finded somewhere in the Net)}

[A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [Y] [Z]

A

Air Force Law
2% don't get the word.
Airplane Law
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Agnes Allen's Law
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Albrecht's Law
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
Algren's Precepts
- Never eat at a place called Mom's.
- Never play cards with a man named Doc.
- And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Alice Roosevelt Longwoth's Rules for System Design
1. Fill what's empty.
2. Empty what's full.
3. And scratch where it itches.
Allison's Precept
The best simple-minded test of expertise in a particular area is the ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.
Anthony's Law of Force
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
Corollary to Anthony's Law
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
Army Axiom
Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Astrology Law
It's always the wrong time of the month.
Axiom of the Pipe (Trischmann's Paradox)
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

B
Baker's Law
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 1 of 11)
The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 2 of 11)
Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 3 of 11)
The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it. If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 4 of 11)
The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 5 of 11)
The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 6 of 11)
The size of each of the stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 7 of 11)
The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 8 of 11)
The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 9 of 11)
When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 10 of 11)
If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.
Barber's Law of Backpacking (No 11 of 11)
The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellent.
Barth's Distinction
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
Bartz's Law of Hockey Horsepuckery
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age
Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Barzun's Laws of Learning (No 1 of 2)
The simple but difficult arts of paying attention, copying accurately, following an argument, detecting an ambiguity or a false inference, testing guesses by summoning up contrary instances, organizing one's time and one's thought for study -- all these arts -- cannot be taught in the air but only through the difficulties of a defined subject. They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections.
Barzun's Laws of Learning (No 2 of 2)
The analogy to athletics must be pressed until all recognize hat in the exercise of Intellect those who lack the muscles, coordination, and will power can claim no place at the training table, let alone on the playing field.
Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly.
2. If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.
Baxter's Laws (No 1 of 3)
Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.
Baxter's Laws (No 2 of 3)
The adoption of fractional gold reserves in a currency system always leads to depreciation, devaluation, demonetization and, ultimately, to complete destruction of that currency.
Baxter's Laws (No 3 of 3)
In a free market good money always drives bad money out of circulation.
Beardsley's Warning to Lawyers
Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.
Beauregard's Law
When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.
Becker's Law
It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
Beifeld's Principle
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of
- (a) a date,
- (b) his wife, and
- (c) a better looking and richer male friend.
Bicycle Law
All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:
- A 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.
- A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.
- A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.
Bilbo's Proverb
Never laugh at live dragons.
Bill Babcock's Law
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
Blaauw's Law
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Booker's Law
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
Boren's Laws
1. When in doubt, mumble.
2. When in trouble, delegate.
3. When in charge, ponder.
Brien's First Law
At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
Brook's Law
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Sam Brown's Law
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
Brown's Law of Business Success
Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.
Bucy's Law
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 1 of 9)
The organization of any program reflects the organization of the people who develop it.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 2 of 9)
There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 3 of 9)
Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 4 of 9)
Capitalism can exist in one of only two states -- welfare or warfare.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 5 of 9)
I'd rather go whoring than warring.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 6 of 9)
History proves nothing.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 7 of 9)
There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 8 of 9)
A little humility is arrogance.
Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs (No 9 of 9)
A lot of what appears to be progress is just so much technological rococo.
Bye's Laws of Model Railroading (No 1 of 2)
Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.
Bye's Laws of Model Railroading (No 2 of 2)
The desire for modeling a prototype is inversely proportional to the decline of the prototype.

C
Cahn's Axiom
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Camp's Law
A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.
Canada Bill Jones' Motto
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Canada Bill Jones' Supplement
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Cheops' Law
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Chisholm's Law of Human Interaction
Anytime things appear to be going better you have overlooked something.
Chisholm's Third Law
Proposals, as understood by the proposer, will be judged otherwise by others.
- Corollary 1: If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
- Corollary 2: If you do something which you are sure will meet with everyone's approval, somebody won't like it.
- Corollary 3: Procedures devised to implement the purpose won't quite work.
- Corollary 4: No matter how long or how many times you explain, no one is listening.
Christgav's First Law
Trust your brother but not too damn much.
Christmas Morning Law
Batteries are not included.
Churchill's Commentary on Man
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Clarke's Laws (No 1 of 3)
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Clarke's Laws (No 2 of 3)
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.
Clarke's Laws (No 3 of 3)
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Clarke's Law of Revolutionary Ideas
1. "The check is in the mail."
2. "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."
3. "Of course I'll respect you in the morning."
Cohen's Law
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts -- not the facts themselves.
Cohen's Law of Inside Dope
There are many inside dopes in politics and government.
Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage.
Colson's Law
When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Comin's Law
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Commoner's Three Laws of Ecology
1. No action is without side-effects.
2. Nothing ever goes away.
3. There is no free lunch.
The Compensation Corollary
The experiment must be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with theory.
Cook's Law
- Much work -- much food,
- little work -- little food,
- no work -- burial at sea.
Cornuelle's Law
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Crane's Law (Friedman's Reiteration)
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
Cushman's Law
A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
Cutler-Webster Law
There are two sides to every argument unless a man is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
Crane's Law (Friedman's Reiteration)
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
Cropp's Law
The amount of work done is varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.
E. E. Cummings' Summation of Politics
A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man.

D
Darwin's Observation
Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.
Dijkstra's Prescription for Programming Inertia
If you don't know what your program is supposed to do, you'd better not start writing it.
Dilwether's Law of Delay
When people have a job to do, particularly a vital but difficult one, they will invariably put it off until the last possible moment, and most of them will put it off even longer.
Diogenes' First Dictum
The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.
Diogenes' Second Dictum
If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.
Dirksen's Laws of Politics
1. Get elected.
2. Get reelected.
3. Don't get mad, get even.
Dirksen's Version of an Old Saw
The oil can is mightier than the sword.
Displaced Hassle, Principle of
To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.
Dow's Law
In a hierarchical organization, the higher, the greater the confusion.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 1 of 15)
If you have too many problems, maybe you should go out of business. There is no law that says a company must last forever.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 2 of 15)
As to the idea tat advertising motivates people, remember the Edsel.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 3 of 15)
The only things in an organization that evolve by themselves are disorder, friction, and malperformance.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 4 of 15)
We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 5 of 15)
Marketing is a fashionable term. The sales manager becomes a marketing vice-president. But a gravedigger is still a gravedigger even when he is called a mortician -- only the price of burial goes up.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 6 of 15)
Fast personal decisions are likely to be wrong.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 7 of 15)
Strong people always have strong weaknesses.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 8 of 15)
Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 9 of 15)
We always remember best the irrelevant.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 10 of 15)
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 11 of 15)
Medicare and Medicaid are the greatest measures yet devised to make the world safe for clerks.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 12 of 15)
We may now be nearing the end of our hundred-year belief in Free Lunch.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 13 of 15)
Look at governmental programs for the last fifty years. Every single one -- except for warfare -- achieved the exact opposite of its announced goal.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 14 of 15)
The computer is a moron.
Drucker's Dicta: (No 15 of 15)
The main impact of the computer has been the provision of unlimited jobs for clerks.
Duggan's Law
For every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.
Dunne's Law
The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.
Durant's Discovery
One of the lessons of history is that noting is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

E
Edison's Axiom
We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.
Ehrman's Corollary to Ginsberg's Theorem
1. Things will get worse before they get better.
2. Who said things would get better.
Ettorre's Observation
The other line moves faster.
Evan's Law of Politics
When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.
Everitt's Form of the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
Confusion (entropy) is always increasing in society. Only if someone or something works extremely hard can this confusion be reduced to order in a limited region. Nevertheless, this effort will still result in an increase in the total confusion of society at large.
Executive Umbrella Law
A businessman needs three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.
Extended Epstein-Heisenberg Principle
In an R & D orbit, only 2 of the existing 3 parameters can be defined simultaneously.
The parameters are: Time and Resources ($).
1. If one knows what the task is, and there is a time limit allowed for the completion of the task, then one cannot guess how much it will cost.
2. If the time and resources ($) are clearly defined, then it is impossible to know what part of the R & D task will be performed.
3. If you are given a clearly defined R & D goal and a definite amount of money which has been calculated to be necessary for the completion of the task, one cannot predict if and when the goal will be reached.
4. If one is lucky enough and can accuratly define all 3 parameters, then what one deals with is not in the realm of R & D.
F
Farber's Laws (No 1 of 5)
Give him an inch and he'll screw you.
Farber's Laws (No 2 of 5)
A hand in the bush is worth two anywhere else.
Farber's Laws (No 3 of 5)
We're all going down the same road in different directions.
Farber's Laws (No 4 of 5)
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
Farber's Laws (No 4 of 5)
The early bird will find his can of worms.
Farber's Sixth Rule
You have taken yourself too seriously.
Finagle's Laws (No 1 of 4)
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle's Laws (No 2 of 4)
No matter what result is anticipated, there will always be someone eager to
- (a) misinterpret it,
- (b) fake it, or
- (c) believe it happened to his own pet theory.
Finagle's Laws (No 3 of 4)
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
- Corollary 1: No one whom you ask for help will see it.
- Corollary 2: Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.
Finagle's Laws (No 4 of 4)
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
Finagle's Rules
Ever since the first scientific experiment, man has been plagued by the increasing antagonism of nature. It seems only right that nature should be logical and neat, but experience has shown that this is not the case. A further series of rules has been formulated, designed to help man accept the pigheadedness of nature.
- Rule 1: To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
- Rule 2: Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
- Rule 3: Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.
- Rule 4: In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
- Rule 5: Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.
- Rule 6: Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.
First Law of Bicycling
No matter which way you ride it's uphill and against the wind.
First Law of Bridge
It's always the partner's fault.
First Law of Canoeing (Alfred Andrews' Canoeing Postulate)
No matter which direction you start it's always against the wind coming back.
First Law of Debate
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
First Law of Expert Advice
Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
First Law of Office Holders
Get re-elected.
Fitz-Gibbon's Law
Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
Flap's Law
Any inanimate object, regardless of its position or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or else completely mysterious.
Fortis' Three Great Lies of Life
1. Money isn't everything.
2. It's great to be a Negro.
3. I'm only going to put it in a little way.
Fourteenth Corollary of Atwood's General Law of Dynamic Negatives
No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.
Franklin's Rule
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.
Froud's Law
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
Fudd's Law of Insertion
What goes in, must come back out.
Fuller's Law of Cosmic Irreversibility
1 Pot T == 1 Pot P
1 Pot P != 1 Pot T
The Futility Factor
Experiment is never a complete failure - it can always serve as a bad example.

G
Gadarene Swine Law
Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.
Gallois's Revelation
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.
Getty's Reminder
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics (No 1 of 3)
An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics (No 2 of 3)
An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics (No 3 of 3)
The energy required to change either one of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (No 1 of 5)
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Corollary: At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (No 2 of 5)
Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (No 3 of 5)
The only difference between the fool and the criminal who attacks a system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and on a broader front.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (No 4 of 5)
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (No 5 of 5)
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.
Ginsberg's Theorem
1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even quit the game.
Golden Rules of Indulgence (No 1 of 4)
Everything in excess!
Golden Rules of Indulgence (No 2 of 4)
To enjoy the full flavor of life, take big bytes.
Golden Rules of Indulgence (No 3 of 4)
Moderation is for monks.
Golden Rules of Indulgence (No 4 of 4)
Yield to temptation; it may never pass your way again.
Goulden's Law of Jury Watching
If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.
Gray's Law of Bilateral Asymmetry in Networks
Information flows efficiently through organizations, except that bad news encounters high impedance in flowing upward.
Corollary to Gray's Law of Bilateral Asymmetry in Networks
People at the top make decisions as though times were good when people at the bottom know the organization is collapsing.
Gray's Law of Programming
'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as 'n' trivial tasks.
Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law of Programming
'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.
Gresham's Law
Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never solved.
Grosch's Law
Computing power increases as the square of the cost. If you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times as fast.
Gummidge'e Law
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.
Gumperson's Laws of Probability (No 1 of 2)
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
Gumperson's Laws of Probability (No 2 of 2)
The outcome of a given desired probability will be inverse to the degree of desirability.
- Corollary 1: After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.
- Corollary 2: The more a recruit knows about a given subject, the better chance he has of being assigned to something else.
H
Hacker's Law of Personnel
Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.
Hagerty's Law
If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich or famous or both.
Haldane's Law
The Universe is not only queerer than we imagine; it is queerer than we CAN imagine.
Harper's Magazine's Law
You never find an article until you replace it.
Hartley's First Law
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back you've got something.
Hartley's Second Law
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Harvard Law
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
Hawking's Observation
Not only does God play at dice;
He throws them where they can't be seen.
Hein's Law
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.
Herblock's Law
If it's good they'll stop making it.
Heller's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Hendrickson's Law
If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings eventually become more important than the problem.
Hoare's Law of Large Programs
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
Horner's Five Thumb Postulate
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Howard's First Law of Theater
Use it.
Howe's Law
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Hubbard's Law
The world gets better every day -- then worse again in the evening.
Hull's Theorem
The combined pull of several patrons is the sum of their separate pulls multiplied by the number of patrons.

I
IBM Pollyanna Principle
Machines should work. People should think.
Imhoff's Law
The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank -- the REALLY big chunks always rise to the top.
Iron Law of Distribution
Them what has - gets.
Italian Proverb
She who is silent consents.

J
Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Governments
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
Jay's Laws of Leadership
1. Changing things is central to leadership, and changing them before anyone else is creativeness.
2. To build something that endures, it is of the greatest importance to have a long tenure in office -- to rule for many years. You can achieve a quick success in a year or two, but nearly all of the great tycoons have continued their building much longer.
Jenkinson's Law
It won't work.
John Cameron's Law
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
John's Axiom
When your opponent is down, kick him.
John's Collateral Corollary
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.
Johnson's Corollary to Heller's Law
Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your organization.
Johnson's First Law of Auto Repair
Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center.
Johnson-Laird's Law
Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.
Jones' Law
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
Jones' Motto
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Jones' Principle
Needs are a function of what other people have.

K
Kafka's Law
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Kamin's Laws (No 1 of 7)
All currencies will decrease in value and purchasing power over the long term, unless they are freely and fully convertable into gold and that gold is traded freely without restrictions of any kind.
Kamin's Laws (No 2 of 7)
Threat of capital controls accelerates marginal capital outflows.
Kamin's Laws (No 3 of 7)
Combined total taxation from all levels of government will always increase (until the government is replaced by war or revolution).
Kamin's Laws (No 4 of 7)
Government inflation is always worse than statistics indicate; central bankers are biased toward inflation when the money unit is non-convertible, and without gold or silver backing.
Kamin's Laws (No 5 of 7)
Purchasing power of currency is always lost far more rapidly than ever regained. (Those who expect even fluctuations in both directions play a losing game.)
Kamin's Laws (No 6 of 7)
When attempting to predict and forcast macro-economic moves or economic legislation by a politician, never be misled by what he says; instead watch what he does.
Kamin's Laws (No 7 of 7)
Politicians will always inflate when given the opportunity.
Abraham Kaplan's Law of the Instrument
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
Katz's Law
Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Kerr-Martin Law
1. In dealing with their OWN problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives.
2. In dealing with OTHER people's problems, they are the world's most extreme liberals.
Kirkland's Law
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
Kitman's Law
Pure drivel tends to drive off the TV screen ordinary drivel.

L
Lani's Principles of Economics
1. Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
2. $100 placed at 7% interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000 by which time it will be worth nothing.
3. In God we trust, all others pay cash.
La Rochefoucauld's Law
It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them.
Law of Communications
The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.
Law of Computability Applied to Social Science
If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
Law of Selective Gravity (The Buttered Side Down Law)
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Law of the Perversity of Nature (Mrs. Murphy's Corollary)
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Law of Superiority
The first example of superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of inferior principle.
Laws of Computerdom According to Golub (No 1 of 4)
Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of estimating the corresponding costs.
Laws of Computerdom According to Golub (No 2 of 4)
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
Laws of Computerdom According to Golub (No 3 of 4)
The effort required to correct course increases geometrically with time.
Laws of Computerdom According to Golub (No 4 of 4)
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 1 of 8)
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 2 of 8)
Any given program costs more and takes longer.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 3 of 8)
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 4 of 8)
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 5 of 8)
Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 6 of 8)
The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 7 of 8)
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
Laws of Computer Programming (No 8 of 8)
Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.
Laws of Gardening (No 1 of 4)
Other people's tools work only in other people's yards.
Laws of Gardening (No 2 of 4)
Fanzy gizmos don't work.
Laws of Gardening (No 3 of 4)
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
Laws of Gardening (No 4 of 4)
You get the most of what you need the least.
Law of Local Anesthesia
Never say "oops" in the operating room.
Leahy's Law
If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.
Corollary: Volume is a defense to error.
Le Chatelier's Law
If some stress is brought to bear on a system in equilibrium, the equilibrium is displaced in the direction which tends to undo the effect of the stress.
Les Miserables Metalaw
All laws, whether good, bad, or indifferent, must be obeyed to the letter.
Levy's Nine Laws of the Disillusionment of the True Liberal
(Does anybody know who Marion J. Levy, Jr., is?)
I would like to have permission quote his very good, but copyrighted, laws.
Lincoln's Rule
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Long's Notes (No 1 of 30)
Always store beer in a dark place.
Long's Notes (No 2 of 30)
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
Long's Notes (No 3 of 30)
Always listen to experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
Then do it.
Long's Notes (No 4 of 30)
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another -- but which one? Differences are crucial.
Long's Notes (No 5 of 30)
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
Long's Notes (No 6 of 30)
Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
Long's Notes (No 7 of 30)
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
Long's Notes (No 8 of 30)
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Long's Notes (No 9 of 30)
It's better to copulate than never.
Long's Notes (No 10 of 30)
Never appeal to man's "better nature."
He may not have one.
(Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.)
Long's Notes (No 11 of 30)
An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.
Long's Notes (No 12 of 30)
A Zygote is a Gamete's way of producing more Gametes.
Long's Notes (No 13 of 30)
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent. It says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.
Long's Notes (No 14 of 30)
Waking a person unnecessarily should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offense, that is.
Long's Notes (No 15 of 30)
Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
Long's Notes (No 16 of 30)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Long's Notes (No 17 of 30)
Rub her feet.
Long's Notes (No 18 of 30)
To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.
Long's Notes (No 19 of 30)
Does history record any case in which the majority was right?
Long's Notes (No 20 of 30)
Be wary of strong drink.
It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.
Long's Notes (No 21 of 30)
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
Long's Notes (No 22 of 30)
Natural laws have no pity.
Long's Notes (No 23 of 30)
You can go wrong by being too skeptical as readily as by being too trusting.
Long's Notes (No 24 of 30)
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Long's Notes (No 25 of 30)
Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament -- it is possible to be both.
How? By never taking unnecessary chances and by minimizing risks you can't avoid. This permits you to play the game happily, untroubled by the certainty of the outcome.
Long's Notes (No 26 of 30)
"I came, I saw, SHE conquered."
(The original Latin seems to have been garbled.)
Long's Notes (No 27 of 30)
The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
Long's Notes (No 28 of 30)
A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being "frank".
Long's Notes (No 29 of 30)
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "of course it's none of my business, but...." is to place a period after the word "but". Don't use excessive force in supplying such morons with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
Long's Notes (No 30 of 30)
Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.
Lord Falkland's Rule
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
Lowery's Law
If it jams -- force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

M
Maier's Law
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Malek's Law
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Malinowski's Law
Looking from far above, from our high places of safety in the developed civilization, it is easy to see all the crudity and irrelevance of magic.
Marshall's Generalized Iceberg Theorem
7/8 of anything can't be seen.
Dean Martin's Definition of Drunkenness
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Martin-Berthelot Principle
Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.
Match's Maxim
A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.
Matsch's Law
It is better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.
May's Law
The quality of the correlation is inversely proportional to the density of the control (the fewer the facts, the smoother the curves).
McClaughry's Codicil on Jone's Motto
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
McClaughry's Law of Zoning
Where zoning is not needed, it will work perfectly;
where it is desperately needed, it always breaks down.
McGoon's Law
The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.
McNaughton's Rule
Any argument worth making within the bureaucracy must be capable of being expressed in a simple declarative sentence that is obviously true once stated.
H. L. Mencken's Law
Those who can -- do.
Those who cannot -- teach.
Those who cannot teach -- administrate. (Martin's extension)
Merrill's First Corollary
There are no winners in life; only survivors.
Merrill's Second Corollary
In the highway of life, the average happening is of about as much true significance as a dead skunk in the middle of the road.
Meskimen's Law
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
Michehl's Theorem
Less is more.
Pastore's Comment on Michehl's Theorem (Less is more)
Nothing is ultimate.
Partick's Theorem
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
Miller's Law
You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.
Mobil's Maxim
Bad regulation begets worse regulation.
Modell's Laws
1. Nothing is so serious that it can't be teased until it is ragged at the edges.
2. 3) Nothing is so simple that it cannot be made too complex to work.
Murphy's Laws (No 1 of 11)
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Murphy's Laws (No 2 of 11)
Everything takes longer than you think.
Murphy's Laws (No 3 of 11)
In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Murphy's Laws (No 4 of 11)
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Murphy's Laws (No 5 of 11)
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Murphy's Laws (No 6 of 11)
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Murphy's Laws (No 7 of 11)
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy's Laws (No 8 of 11)
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Murphy's Laws (No 9 of 11)
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's Laws (No 10 of 11)
Mother nature is a bitch.
Murphy's Laws (No 11 of 11)
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
Murphy's Law of Selective Gravitation
An object will always fall where it can do the most damage.
Murphy's Law of Physics
A particle will always appear where it shouldn't.
Murphy's law of the Lab
You will never have the part you need, and will always have 0 of every part you don't need. Given the need for a resistor of M ohms, and N resistors of values K1 to Kn, there will be no way to combine them to = M

N
Newton's Little-known Seventh Law
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Nienberg's Law
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Ninety-ten Rule of Project Schedules
The first ninety percent of the task takes ten percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Ninety-ninety Rule of Project Schedules
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

O
Oak's Unruly Laws for Lawmakers (No 1 of 3)
Law expands in proportion to the resources available for its enforcement.
Oak's Unruly Laws for Lawmakers (No 2 of 3)
Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than repealed.
Oak's Unruly Laws for Lawmakers (No 3 of 3)
Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
O'Brien's Principle (The $357.73 Theory)
Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line divisible by 5 or 10.
Occam's Electric Razor
The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.
Oeser's Law
There is a tendency for the person in the most powerful position in an organization to spend all his time serving on committees and signing letters.
Olson's Law
A good deed never goes unpunished.
Ordering Principle
Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon.
Osborn's Law
Variables won't, constants aren't.
OSHA's Discovery
Wet manure is slipper. (Reported in the Washington Post, 6/18/76)
Note: This replaces an earlier Navy finding: "Classified material is considered lost when it cannot be found."
O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Laws
Murphy was an optimist.

P
Pardo's Postulates (No 1 of 3)
Anything good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Pardo's Postulates (No 2 of 3)
The three faithful things in life are money, a dog, and an old woman.
Pardo's Postulates (No 3 of 3)
Don't care if you're rich or not, as long as you can live comfortably and have everything you want.
Pareto's Law (The 2080 Law)
20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover,
20% of components account for 80% of the cost, and so forth.
Parker's Rule of Parlimentary Procedure
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
Parker's Law of Political Statements
The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility and vice versa.
Parkinson's Laws (No 1 of 4)
Work expands to fill time available for its completion; the thing to be done swells in perceived importance and complexity in a direct ratio with the time to be spent in its completion.
Parkinson's Laws (No 2 of 4)
Expenditures rise to meet income.
Parkinson's Laws (No 3 of 4)
If there is a way to delay an important decision the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
Parkinson's Laws (No 4 of 4)
The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
Parkinson's Law, Modified
The junk you have will expand to fill the available space.
Parkinson's Law of Delay
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Pastore's Truths
1. Even paranoids have enemies.
2. This job is marginally better than daytime TV.
3. On alcohol: four is one more than more than enough.
Peckham's Law
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Peer's Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
Peter Principle
In every hierarchy, whether it be government or business, each employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence;
every post tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.
Peter's Corollaries
1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
Peter's Inversion
Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency.
Peter's Paradox
Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.
Peter's Perfect People Palliative
Each of us is a mixture of good qualities and some (perhaps) not-so-good qualities. In considering our fellow people we should remember their good qualities and realize that their faults only prove that they are, after all, human. We should refrain from making harsh judgements of people just because they happen to be dirty, rotten, no-good sons-of-bitches.
Peter's Placebo
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Peter's Theorem
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Potter's Law
The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely proportional to the subject's true value.
Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Productivity Equation
The productivity, P, of a group of people is:
P = N x T x (0.55 - 0.00005 x N x (N - 1))
where
N is the number of people in the group, and
T is the number of hours in a work period.
Professor Gordon's Rule of Evolving Bryographic Systems
While bryographic plants are typically encountered in substrata of earthy or mineral matter in concreted state, discrete substrata elements occasionally display a roughly spherical configuration which, in presence of suitable gravitational and other effects, lends itself to combined translatory and rotational motion. One notices in such cases an absence of the otherwise typical accretion of bryophyta. We therefore conclude that a rolling stone gathers no moss.
Programmer's Evidence
Programming is a series of discoveries leading you from one plateau of understanding to another...
The trick is not to step in the stuff between the plateaus.
Pudder's Law
Anything that begins well ends badly.
Anything that begins badly ends worse.
Puritan's Law
Evil is live spelled backwards.
Puritan's Second Law
If it feels good, don't do it.

Q
Q's Law
No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a North Sea (oil) field, the cost of the remainder of the project remains the same.

R
Rangnekar's Modified Rules Concerning Decisions
1. If you must make a decision, delay it.
2. If you can authorize someone else to avoid a decision, do so.
3. If you can form a committee, have them avoid the decision.
4. If you can otherwise avoid a decision, avoid it immediately.
Rayburn's Rule
If you want to get along, go along.
Riddle's Constant
There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which separate expected results from achieved results.
Ross' First Law
Bare feet magnetize sharp objects so they always point upward from the floor - especially in the dark.
Ross' Second Law
Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance.
Rowe's Rule
The odds are 6 to 5 that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming express train.
Rudin's Law
In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Rule of Accuracy
When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps if you know the answer.
Damon Runyon's Rule
Life is 6 to 5 against.
Rural Mechanics, First Rule of
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

S
Sam's Axiom
1. Any line, however short, is still too long.
2. Work is the crabgrass of life, but money is the water that keeps it green.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 1 of 6)
Avoid fried foods which angry up the blood.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 2 of 6)
If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 3 of 6)
Keep the juices moving by jangling around gently as you walk.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 4 of 6)
Go light on the vices such as carrying on in society.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 5 of 6)
Avoid running at all times.
Satchel Paige's Rules for Good Living (No 6 of 6)
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
Sattinger's Law
It works better if you plug it in.
Security Office, Special Law of the
1. Threats to security will be found.
  - (1A) Corollary: The finding of threats to security by a security office is totally predictable, and hence the finding is totally worthless.
Segal's Law
A man with one watch knows what time it is;
a man with two watches is never sure.
Serendipity, Laws of
1. In order to discover something, you must be looking for something.
2. If you wish to make an improved product, you must already be engaged in making an inferior one.
Sevareid's Law
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Shalit's Law
The intensity of movie publicity is in inverse ratio to the quality of the movie.
Shanahan's Law
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.
Shaw's Principle
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 1 of 6)
Rechargeable batteries will die at the most critical time of the most complex problem.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 2 of 6)
When a Rechargeable battery starts to die in the middle of a complex calculation, and the user attempts to connect house current, the calculator will clear itself.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 3 of 6)
The final answer will exceed the calculator's magnitude or precision limits.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 4 of 6)
There will not be enough storage registers to solve the problem.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 5 of 6)
The user will forget mathematics in proportion to the complexity of the calculator.
Shelton's Laws of Pocket Calculators (No 6 of 6)
Thermal paper will run out before the calculation is complete.
Shultz's Law
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
Simmon's Law
The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.
Simon's Law
Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.
Sinner's Law of Retaliation
Do whatever your enemies don't want you to do.
Skinner's Constant (Flannegan's Finagling Factor)
That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
SNAFU Equations
1. Given any problem containing 'n' equations will be 'n + 1' unknowns.
2. An object or bit of information most needed will be least available.
3. Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
4. Interchangable devices won't.
5. In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.
6. Badness comes in waves.
SNAFU Principle
Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.
Sociology's Iron Law of Oligarchy
In every organized activity, no matter the sphere, a small number will become the oligarchial leaders and the others will follow.
Sod's Law
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and the need for success.
Spare Parts Principle
The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the completion of work underway.
Specht's Meta-Law
Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy
Everyone should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
Stowkowski's Observation
Conscience is the part that feels bad when everything else feels good... the percentage is against it.
Stilwell's Observation
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind.
Sturgeon's Law
90 per cent of everything is crud.
Swipple Rule of Order
He who shouts loudest has the floor.

T
Taxi Principle
Find out the cost before you get in.
Terman's Law
There is no direct relationship between the quality of an educational program and its cost.
Terman's Law of Innovation
If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.
Theory of the International Society of Philosophic Engineering
In any calculation, any error which can creep in will.
Third Corollary
The difficulty of getting anything started increases with the square of the number of people involved.
Thoreau's Law
If you see a man approaching with the obvious intent of doing you good, run for your life.
Thurber's Conclusion
There's no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
Tipper's Law
Those who expect the biggest tips provide the worst service.
Titanic Coincidence
Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.
Tom Sawyer's Great Laws of Human Action
1. In order to make a person covet a thing, it is only necessary to make that thing difficult to attain.
2. Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Torquemada's Law
When you are sure you're right, you have a moral duty to impose your will upon anyone who disagrees with you.
Transcription Law
The number of errors made is equal to the number of 'squares' employed.
Truman's Law
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
Truths of Management (No 1 of 10)
Think before you act; it's not your money.
Truths of Management (No 2 of 10)
All good management is the expression of one great idea.
Truths of Management (No 3 of 10)
No executive devotes effort to proving himself wrong.
Truths of Management (No 4 of 10)
Cash in must exceed cash out.
Truths of Management (No 5 of 10)
Management capability is always less than the organization actually needs.
Truth 5.1 of Management
Organizations always have too many managers.
Truths of Management (No 6 of 10)
Either an executive can do his job or he can't.
Truths of Management (No 7 of 10)
If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don't do it.
Truths of Management (No 8 of 10)
If you are doing something wrong, you will do it badly.
Truths of Management (No 9 of 10)
If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail.
Truths of Management (No 10 of 10)
The easiest way of making money is to stop losing it.
Tuccille's First Law of Reality
Industry always moves in to fill an economic vacuum.

U
Uhlmann's Razor
When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.
Corollary: "It seemed like the thing to do at the time."
The Ultimate Principle
By definition, when you are investigating the unknown - you do not know what you will find.
Unnamed Law
If it happens, it must be possible.
Unspeakable Law
As soon as you mention something if it's good, it goes away... if it's bad, it happens.

V
Vail's Axiom
In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchial level.
Vique's Law
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Von Braun's Law of Gravity
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
Vonnegut's Corollary
Beauty may be only skin deep, but ugliness goes right to the core.

W
Weaver's Law
When several reporters share a cab on an assignment, the reporter in the front seat pays for all.
Weaver's Corollary (Doyle's Corollary)
No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays, each puts the full fare on his own expense account.
Weber-Fechner Law
The least change in stimulus necessary to produce a perceptible change in response is proportional to the stimulus already existing.
Weiler's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Weinberg's Law
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Weinberg's Corollary
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
Westheimer's Rule
To estimate the time it takes to do a task: estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by 2, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit.
Thus we allocate 2 days for a one hour task.
White's Chappaquidick Theorem
The sooner and in more detail you announce bad news, the better.
White's Observations of Committee Operation
1. People very rarely think in groups; they talk together, they exchange information, they adjudicate, they make compromises. But they do not think; they do not create.
2. A really new idea affronts current agreement.
3. A meeting cannot be productive unless certain premises are so shared that they do not need to be discussed, and the argument can be confined to areas of disagreement. But while this kind of consensus makes a group more effective in its legitimate functions, it does not make the group a creative vehicle -- it would not be a new idea if it didn't -- and the group, impelled as it is to agree, is instinctively hostile to that which is divisive.
White's Statement
Any group, impelled as it is to agree, is instinctively hostile to that which is divisive.
Owen's Comment on White's Statement
Don't lose heart...
...they might want to cut it out...
Byrd's Addition to Owen's Comment on White's Statement
Don't lose heart...
...they might want to cut it out...
...and they want to avoid a lengthy search.
Wiker's Law
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
Will's Rule of Informed Citizenship
If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution.
Wolf's Law (An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World)
It isn't that things will necessarily go wrong (Murphy's Law), but rather that they will take so much more time and effort than you think if they are not to go wrong.
Wood's Incomplete Maxims
1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe
Woodward Law
A theory is better than an explanation.
Work Rules
1. The boss is always right.
2. If the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
Worker's Dilemma Law (or Management's Put-Down Law)
1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.
Wynne's Law
Negative slack tends to increase.

Y
Yapp's Basic Fact
If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it.

Z
Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving System Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
(Old worms never die, they just worm their way into larger cans).
Zymurgy's Law on the Availability of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.
Zymurgy's Seventh Exception to Murphy's Laws
1. When it rains, it pours.
2. A really new idea affronts current agreement.

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